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Wedding Services

Here are some things I'd like you to know about my ministry and my role as a wedding officiant.

My ministry focuses on relationships. That's why it is important for me to provide you with premarital counseling and to develop a personal relationship with you before your wedding day. Our relationship can continue as long as you like. Many couples stay in touch with me long after their wedding. I enjoy seeing photos of their babies, ministering to them in times of need, and officiating when they decide to renew their wedding vows.

My ministry is to all people. You don't need to be of my particular religious tradition to request my services. If you are of another religion or another tradition within Christianity, I will honor your heritage. And if you do not have a religious affiliation of any kind, I will honor your spirituality. In all cases, you will be encouraged to participate in planning your wedding ceremony. I will give you a copy of my wedding planning guide. It includes many choices of readings, vows and prayers. You may choose those which best convey your deepest feelings and beliefs. You are also welcome to suggest ideas of your own. Together, we'll create a beautiful and memorable wedding ceremony. I will give you a copy of your unique ceremony following your wedding.

Here is more information about my background as a minister. I was ordained to the Christian ministry in 1976 after completing college (B.S.), graduate school (M.A.), and theological seminary (M.Div.). For the first nine years of my ministry I served as a campus minister, first at Colorado State University, then at Western Washington University. In 1984 I moved to San Diego, established a marriage and family therapy practice, and founded the Center for Marriage focusing on counseling for couples at every stage of relationship. In addition to my counseling ministry, I am active in church leadership in the local churches of my denomination. My ministry has also extended to other activities such as contributing to the early development of Esperanza International, a self-help community development organization that facilitates homebuilding and other projects mainly in the poorest neighborhoods of Tijuana. Volunteers are always welcome.
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My religious tradition is called the United Church of Christ (UCC). The roots of the UCC go back to the Mayflower and the Pilgrims who came to America in 1620, seeking religious freedom. The early Congregationalists, as they were called, were independent-minded people; they gave birth to Constitutional liberty in this country. They were also strong believers in education, establishing many colleges; Harvard was the first Congregational college. Over the years, the Congregational Church merged with other like-minded Christian denominations, eventually becoming the United Church of Christ in 1957. The UCC has a rich tradition of freethinking, seeking unity within diversity, and expressing faith through commitment to peace and social justice.

Wedding Q & A

Click on each question to see the answer

Why do you require premarital counseling before you will perform a wedding?

Your wedding celebration will be over in a day, but your marriage relationship is meant to last a lifetime. Studies demonstrate that premarital counseling can improve communication and reduce the chances of divorce. I have been providing premarital counseling to couples for over 30 years and use the most thoroughly proven methods. New insights and skills will help you build a happy and lasting marriage.

How do we make our marriage legal?

Before your wedding day, you must obtain a Marriage License from an office of the San Diego County Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk. You and your fiance must apply for your license together up to 90 days before your wedding date. Bring your license to the wedding.

What is the legal responsibility of the minister?

Although my primary role as a minister is spiritual rather than legal, the State of California requires me to sign and return your marriage license in order to complete your registration with the State. A few weeks after your wedding, you may request a certified copy of your marriage license.

What is your fee for officiating at a wedding?

My standard fee to perform a wedding is $300

If your ceremony site is more than 25 miles away or if your ceremony requires more than the typical amount of planning and preparation time (e.g. rehearsal) your fee may be higher in order to cover extra time and expenses.

My fee may also be reduced if your wedding requires less than the typical amount of time and travel or in case of a significant financial hardship.

Why do clergy charge fees to perform weddings?

Long ago, most clergy were supported entirely by the people in their congregations. They were provided with a place to live and many other life essentials. When a minister performed a wedding for a member of his congregation in those days, he was usually given a small gift as a token of thanks and appreciation. Nowadays, clergy are often asked to perform weddings for couples who are not already part of their support system.

I support my ministry and my family with fees generated by my work as a counselor and minister. The fee I charge is based on the amount of time I typically spend meeting with you to plan your ceremony, time spent to prepare and perform your ceremony, plus travel time and expense to and from your wedding site. In most cases, this involves at least six hours. Accepting an invitation to perform your wedding also requires me to commit myself to a weekend engagement many months in advance and to arrange my own and my family calendar around that commitment. In more than 35 year of ministry I have never failed to perform a scheduled wedding, no matter what personal or family opportunities had to be declined or postponed so that I could keep that day and time available for the wedding.

What is the appropriate time to pay the clergy fee?

Traditionally, on the day of the wedding, the best man or groom discreetly hands the minister an envelope containing a check or cash. I encourage you to pay the clergy fee at a less hectic time such as when we meet to plan your ceremony.

Do you attend rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions?

A rehearsal conducted by the minister is not necessary unless you are having a complex and formal style wedding. Although it is a kind gesture to invite me to your "rehearsal" dinner, I will usually decline for the same reason I do not usually stay very long at wedding receptions. Weekends are my best opportunity to spend time with my own family. As much as I enjoy meeting the families and friends of the couples I marry, I don't normally stay at receptions more than an hour so that I can spend more weekend time with my family. Please check with me first before finalizing any rehearsal dinner or reception plans that would require reserving a seat or ordering a meal for me.