Wedding Services
Here are some things I'd like you to know about my ministry and my role as a wedding officiant.My ministry focuses on relationships. That's why it is important for me to provide you with premarital counseling and to develop a personal relationship with you before your wedding day. Our relationship can continue as long as you like. Many couples stay in touch with me long after their wedding. I enjoy seeing photos of their babies, ministering to them in times of need, and officiating when they decide to renew their wedding vows.
My ministry is to all people. You don't need to be of my particular religious tradition to request my services. If you are of another religion or another tradition within Christianity, I will honor your heritage. And if you do not have a religious affiliation of any kind, I will honor your spirituality. In all cases, you will be encouraged to participate in planning your wedding ceremony. I will give you a copy of my wedding planning guide. It includes many choices of readings, vows and prayers. You may choose those which best convey your deepest feelings and beliefs. You are also welcome to suggest ideas of your own. Together, we'll create a beautiful and memorable wedding ceremony. I will give you a copy of your unique ceremony following your wedding.
Here is more information about my background as a minister. I was ordained to the Christian ministry in 1976 after completing college (B.S.), graduate school (M.A.), and theological seminary (M.Div.). For the first nine years of my ministry I served as a campus minister, first at Colorado State University, then at Western Washington University. In 1984 I moved to San Diego, established a marriage and family therapy practice, and founded the Center for Marriage focusing on counseling for couples at every stage of relationship. In addition to my counseling ministry, I am active in church leadership in the local churches of my denomination. My ministry has also extended to other activities such contributing to the early development of Esperanza International, a self-help community development organization that facilitates homebuilding and other projects mainly in the poorest neighborhoods of Tijuana. Volunteers are always welcome.
My religious tradition is called the United Church of Christ (UCC). The roots of the UCC go back to the Mayflower and the Pilgrims who came to America in 1620, seeking religious freedom. The early Congregationalists, as they were called, were independent-minded people; they gave birth to Constitutional liberty in this country. They were also strong believers in education, establishing many colleges; Harvard was the first Congregational college. Over the years, the Congregational Church merged with other like-minded Christian denominations, eventually becoming the United Church of Christ in 1957. The UCC has a rich tradition of freethinking, seeking unity within diversity, and expressing faith through commitment to peace and social justice.
Wedding Q & A
Click on each question to see the answer
Why do you require premarital counseling before you
will perform a wedding?
Your wedding celebration will be over in a day, but
your marriage relationship is meant to last a
lifetime. Studies demonstrate that premarital
counseling can improve communication and reduce the
chances of divorce. I have been providing premarital
counseling to couples for over 30 years and use the
most thoroughly proven methods. New insights and
skills will help you build a happy and lasting
marriage.
How do we make our marriage legal?
Before your wedding day, you must obtain a Marriage
License from an office of the San Diego County
Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk.
You and your fiance must apply for your
license together up to 90 days before your
wedding date. Bring your license to the
wedding.
What is the legal responsibility of the minister?
Although my primary role as a minister is spiritual
rather than legal, the State of California requires
me to sign and return your marriage license in order
to complete your registration with the State. A few
weeks after your wedding, you may request a certified
copy of your marriage license.
What is your fee for officiating at a wedding?
My standard fee to perform a wedding is $300
If your ceremony site is more than 25 miles away or if your ceremony requires more than the typical amount of planning and preparation time (e.g. rehearsal) your fee may be higher in order to cover extra time and expenses.
My fee may also be reduced if your wedding requires less than the typical amount of time and travel or in case of a significant financial hardship.
If your ceremony site is more than 25 miles away or if your ceremony requires more than the typical amount of planning and preparation time (e.g. rehearsal) your fee may be higher in order to cover extra time and expenses.
My fee may also be reduced if your wedding requires less than the typical amount of time and travel or in case of a significant financial hardship.
Why do clergy charge fees to perform weddings?
Long ago, most clergy were supported entirely by the
people in their congregations. They were provided
with a place to live and many other life essentials.
When a minister performed a wedding for a member of
his congregation in those days, he was usually given
a small gift as a token of thanks and appreciation.
Nowadays, clergy are often asked to perform weddings
for couples who are not already part of their support
system.
I support my ministry and my family with fees generated by my work as a counselor and minister. The fee I charge is based on the amount of time I typically spend meeting with you to plan your ceremony, time spent to prepare and perform your ceremony, plus travel time and expense to and from your wedding site. In most cases, this involves at least six hours. Accepting an invitation to perform your wedding also requires me to commit myself to a weekend engagement many months in advance and to arrange my own and my family calendar around that commitment. In more than 35 year of ministry I have never failed to perform a scheduled wedding, no matter what personal or family opportunities had to be declined or postponed so that I could keep that day and time available for the wedding.
I support my ministry and my family with fees generated by my work as a counselor and minister. The fee I charge is based on the amount of time I typically spend meeting with you to plan your ceremony, time spent to prepare and perform your ceremony, plus travel time and expense to and from your wedding site. In most cases, this involves at least six hours. Accepting an invitation to perform your wedding also requires me to commit myself to a weekend engagement many months in advance and to arrange my own and my family calendar around that commitment. In more than 35 year of ministry I have never failed to perform a scheduled wedding, no matter what personal or family opportunities had to be declined or postponed so that I could keep that day and time available for the wedding.
What is the appropriate time to pay the clergy fee?
Traditionally, on the day of the wedding, the best
man or groom discreetly hands the minister an
envelope containing a check or cash. I encourage you
to pay the clergy fee at a less hectic time such as
when we meet to plan your ceremony.
Do you attend rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions?
A rehearsal conducted by the minister is not
necessary unless you are having a complex and formal
style wedding. Although it is a kind gesture to
invite me to your "rehearsal" dinner, I will usually
decline for the same reason I do not usually stay
very long at wedding receptions. Weekends are my best
opportunity to spend time with my own family. As much
as I enjoy meeting the families and friends of the
couples I marry, I don't normally stay at receptions
more than an hour so that I can spend more weekend
time with my family. Please check with me first
before finalizing any rehearsal dinner or reception
plans that would require reserving a seat or ordering
a meal for me.